Are you struggling with your self-esteem? Been Googling self-esteem boosting strategies? I have an alternative suggestion: practicing self-compassion. In 2008, I was fortunate to be in a week long training with self-compassion researcher and trainer Kristin Neff, and have been helping clients practice self-compassion as a coping tool ever since. Increasing your self-compassion has been consistently shown to improve mental health. And unlike self-esteem, which is often tied to external accomplishments, self-compassion is a more universal shifting of how you relate to and view yourself; this makes self-compassion a powerful tool even in moments or periods when we make mistakes or have not achieved our goals.
I want to share a 2014 article Dr. Neff wrote about the power of focusing on increasing self-compassion, as opposed to self-esteem. In the article, she first discusses why targeting self-esteem isn't always the best idea or the most effective way of managing our mental health; she then explains self-compassion and its components of self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness; and offers some suggestions for daily practice.
Click here to read Don't Fall in the Self-Esteem Trap: Try a Little Self-Kindness by Kristen Neff.
I will also share a graphic with one of the self-kindness exercises she describes. Read more about it in Dr. Neff's piece, and return to this graphic for guidance when you need a self-compassion break.
